What Not to Do at Live Show

Photo by H. Frank

I've spent a little over ten years doing sound for bands in small clubs; the echoes of amplifiers and the distant chorus of 867-5309 have rung in my head. After seeing many bands at a wide variety of experience levels, here's my five cents on what NOT to do at a live show. (This is especially written for newer or younger acts that simply may not know...). Enter this small bar with me where bands have brought out 20-50 of their closest friends. Beer is pouring, people are yelling...and the band takes the stage:

1) Don't cup the mic. If you don't know what cupping is, you may do this. It's when you put your palm over the mic. Sex jokes far aside, (sound engineers are champions at "that's what she said" but that is a post for another time! Please note: the ultimate comeback currently is "isn't that what they called you in high school", according to sources. You're welcome.) it's science: when you put your hand over the mic, you stop it from picking up sound. The sound that does make it into the mic is muffled and because it's not able to capture the whole spectrum of your vocal, it takes in only a portion of frequencies, which creates feedback easily. If the monitors are squealing, and you're grabbing the mic like the rapper you thought you saw do that, please, hold the mic by the handle.

2) Don't point the mic at a monitor. This causes feedback. The science is not that hard. Basically the monitor is pushing out the sound which is going into the mic. Normally, if you talk into the mic, you hear your vocal in the monitor. If you point the mic at the monitor, the microphone picks up what is coming out of the monitor, and then amplifies it, and then picks it up, then amplifies it, times some exponent, and all sonic chaos ensues.

3) Don't call out the venue from the stage, or anywhere around the club's customers. It is unprofessional to throw someone under a bus. If there's technical difficulties, tell the audience, but don't say something like "Yeah, this bar has to figure out their fucking sound system," into the mic. I once had an experience where a band's amps were pushing substantially more wattage than the monitors were capable of. When they wanted more monitor volume, it was like trying to get grandma's voice on a phonograph to compete with amps on par with Pete Townsend at the Allstate arena. Turn down for Pete's sake. Pun intended. They didn't turn down and our modest Mackie board started SMOKING. Yes, I admit something was fucked up. But this is the tech's issue, not the audience's. Audiences like to know everything is OK, so practice the suspension of disbelief, unless there's a fire, then by all means tell the audience. Otherwise, tell a joke until the solution is found. Your soundperson, tech crew and roadies will appreciate your calm head. I also heard from a venue how pissed they were to find out that the band was shit-talking in the bathroom (pun again intended) about the venue, without realizing that customers were around, and it made everyone look like an idiot. Keep your comments to yourself, and tell them to the right person, in private, after the show has gone on. The show must go on, remember? You're in show business. Show some respect to everyone.

In fairness, we must not act as if all sound engineers are saints, battling the dragon of these unprofessional musicians that just don't know any better. The pendulum swings both ways. In fairness, if you ever see a sound engineer with these qualities, you may want to RUN not walk away:

1) Smiley Face EQ
2) Bare feet

Thank you, until next time.

(Original date of this article is February 9, 2014). Republished from the archives.